After I won that Flip camera from Alice I decided that I would quit entering giveaways since I would probably win all of them because I am a witch lucky. This has been hard for me because Alice gives stuff away, like, all the time, and I restrain myself, lest I be burned at the stake.
But when Alice finally opened up shop and I saw a giveaway at Employee Evolution/Brazen Careerist I couldn’t help myself. I had to enter. Had. to.
And I had to because my special witch powers gut told me to. My gut told me this because she knew I would be a winner. And she was right. I WON, PEOPLE! One hundred dollars to spend however I choose at Alice. So cool. And I swear I’m not a witch. Or at least I hope I’m not a witch.
Don’t hate me because I’m lucky.
And now for your conversational enjoyment…
Marie: I wish I was a flight attendant.
Mark: You can’t be a flight attendant. You’d never be home.
Marie: Flight attendants go home.
Mark: You’d only be home long enough to poop.
Marie: Do you think people poop on airplanes?
Mark: I’m sure they do.
Marie: You’ve never pooped on an airplane… have you??? (Who is this man?)
Mark: No, but if I had to…
Marie: No. way. I can’t believe you’d poop on an airplane. Have you no morals?
I just can’t comprehend pooping while onboard a plane. I can’t. I mean, what if I took so long that a line formed waiting for me to finish? Talk about a walk of shame. Pooping takes time, people, and the goal with plane potties is to be as quick as possible. And what if it stank up the place? I mean, seriously, consider your fellow plane mates. You can’t open up windows. I’m not even going to go into the potential embarrassment of crashing while pooping…
I promise that this is the very last post on bowel movements (or at least until I have kids. Then it’s bowel movements and questions about circumcision 24/7), but tell me, is plane pooping ok with you? I won’t judge you. I just have to know if I’m the only person in the world that would NEVER consider pooping while in the air.
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July 1, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Dorie Morgan
I’ll be honest – not only have I pooped on an airplane and I would do it again. But my mom was a flight attendant when I was a kid so airplanes were sort of like a second home to me. It was the equivalent of pooping at Grandma’s house. Which I also did with no problem when my mom was on trips that I couldn’t tag along for.
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Did your mom love being a flight attendant? Other than my fear of restrooms and flying in general I think it would be an awesome job. And I think that’s so cool that airplanes became home for you. I imagine you being like Punky Brewster: In Flight
July 1, 2009 at 7:53 pm
the future mrs. smith
ok #1 – isn’t that flip camera AMAZING? mr. smith got one as a shower gift and it’s the best.
#2 – never. i couldn’t. i already have a fear of airplane bathrooms. the smell. the doors. the claustrophobia. the thought of the toilet falling out of the bottom of the plane… while i’m sitting on it. (weird, maybe?) so adding the real #2 to the mix. never. my skin’s crawly at the thought of it.
and #3 – i love that you went from being a contest winner to doing #2 on an airplane.
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You guys got a Flip camera for a shower gift?!? That’s probably the coolest shower gift I’ve ever heard of. And it is awesome. And you are NOT weird about the falling out the bottom of the plane fear. When I read it I was like, “How did I NOT think of that??” It’s valid. At least in my opinion. And it takes lots of talent to be this random
July 1, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Rebekah
Absolutely NEVER EVER EVER EVER would I dream of doing such a thing on an airplane, but then again, you and I have the same “issue”.
How do you keep winning stuff? I never win anything. And, I might add, haven’t found a 4 leaf clover since bragging about it to you.
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And I hope I didn’t zap your VERY REAL super power from you! That would suck.
Thank you. Ha. And I have no clue how I’m doing it, but if anyone would like to invest in a trip for me to go to Vegas to bring back winnings to share I’m game
July 2, 2009 at 2:37 am
Connie
Well it’s up to each person and your needs at the time. When ya gotta go ya gotta go!! As for winning way to go girl but really you should share, I am family right!!
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And you and my mom both pointed out that I should share the winnings 
I’m thinking a round of Downy Wrinkler Release for everyone… that stuff is AWESOME!
The apple does not fall far, does it?
July 7, 2009 at 10:04 pm
K
I could never, ever poop on a plane! Never. I pretty much only “go” at my house. Actually in just one bathroom of my house. Foreign “movements” are just not an option for me. This can make longer vacations very uncomfortable!
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Ha, I love it. I’m kinda the same way about even a specific bathroom. It’s like it’s home, and no where is better than home. And there ARE lots of us… kinda funny
July 13, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Monica
As someone who as been cursed with sitting adjacent from an airplane bathroom, I would never, ever (unless it a dire DIRE emergency) poop on a plane. It would be mortifying. And I’d worry that everyone would know.
And Dorie doesn’t count. She was a kid, and kids can do whatever they want. (they don’t care).
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Exactly. I mean, can you imagine sitting next to a stranger who KNOWS what you did in there? Ugh. Gives me chills just thinking about it. And you’re right, Dorie can’t count because she didn’t know any better (just kidding):p