It was hot, we were hungry and Mark and I were quickly losing any loving feelings. It was a Grumpy Sunday and a perfect recipe for the following conversation…
Me: I’m tired of waiting on God.
Mark: What do you mean?
Me: I don’t really know. I just feel like I’ve been praying and asking and looking for Him for so long. And nothing is different. Nothing has changed. And I’m getting tired. I want to… I want to quit.
The conversation ended without any answers or resolution because we were home and about to be less hot and more fed so life was bearable again.
The rest of the day consisted of naps and ice cream and trying to get Otis to roll over. Grumpy Sunday was slowly turning into lazy Sunday.
Around 9pm Mark started playing his piano and I was on the floor trying to negotiate a roll out of little man. Usually, when Mark plays or practices he does so with earbuds so that we can’t hear him. That night he played so we could hear.
Me: That’s really pretty.
Mark: If you come over here I’ll sing it to you.
Me: C’mon, Otis. Let’s go listen to Daddy.
I picked Otis up and Mark started singing…
What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
I was swaying back and forth with Otis in my arms and God opened my eyes to how much He has blessed me. Is blessing me.
I was holding my sweet baby and listening to my husband sing a beautiful song to our Lord. My car doesn’t have air conditioning, I don’t really know where we’ll live next year and we seem at a loss for how Mark can provide for our family through music… and at the same time? We are blessed. Right now. Today.
Oh, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
Oh, how bright the path grows from day to day,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
Leaning on the everlasting arms. I looked down at Otis who had his head on my chest, quietly listening to his dad. He wasn’t anxious or freaking out. He was safe and he knew it.
What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms?
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
I realized I wasn’t waiting on God. God was waiting on me. Waiting for me to lean on Him. Waiting for me to recognize that He is who He says He is.
And that’s the story of how Sunday went from grumpy to grateful.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I really love this story!
What a gift this story was, thanks for sharing.
i love hymns even if they usually make me cry
can’t wait to see you on wednesday. big hugs and much love!
Aww, it made me cry…thanks for sharing your heart …what a beautiful story.
Love this!!!!!!!
Umm…I hope you didn’t drive to my house without a/c the other day. I would feel AWFUL, if you had!!
I prayed for patience one year while in college. That summer my air conditioning went out. I was too broke to get it fixed. So I sat during downtown rush hour on the interstate twice a day without air. I would get so hot. My hair was bringing the curl back that I had flat ironed out that morning, which aggrevates me to death! So I would go home and pray for patience again. One day about a month into this, I realize that God was trying to teach me patience. I had to earn it and not just have it bestoyed unto me. ha! It didn’t seem as hot or bad after I realized all that. I also learned to never pray for patience again. lol Is that what you have been doing?
(When I was pregnant, my air went out again in July/August. I was like forget this mess. I got it fixed pronto.)
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[...] July I struggle with the whole trust God thing. [...]